As the first Raw of 2017, several “Special” segments were planned for the supposedly flagship show of the company, Goldberg was returning, we had a last man standing match made with Sami Zayn and Braun Strowman, so what did they kick the show off with but a shitty 12-minute segment of Mick Foley, Kevin Owens and Chris Jericho arguing.
Only of course for Stephanie McMahon to turn up just to really put the last few of us to sleep but the end result would see a match made of Roman Reigns defending his United States championship against Chris Jericho and should the champ get counted out or disqualified, Jericho would become champion.
Of course Kevin Owens had to open his trap and he would get thrown into a match against Seth Rollins were the loser would be banned from ringside for the aforementioned title match, thus ending the shitty segment we found ourselves in and it would be the match to kick of Monday Night Raw.
That match would be just a shitty as their arguments, the match itself was lacklustre, when you saw hesitating in their run-ups, you knew the other was going to pull down the ropes and send the runner flying to the outside, fucking pathetic. In the end, with the use of the ring bell, Kevin Owens got himself disqualified, banning his monkey ass from the U.S title match.
One half of the Raw tag team champions Cesaro w/Shamus (the other half of the Raw tag team champions that would be joining the commentary panel) would be in action next facing off against Karl Anderson.
With Luck Gallows at ringside and Shamus at the commentary panel, you knew they were going to get involved, I got to thinking whilst watching this that you knew these teams were going to get squared off for a tag team title match sometime soon.
I find the WWE does like to do that, it begins with single matches like Cesaro/Anderson and then you’ll have Shamus/Gallows, then after costing each team mate a couple of matches, they’ll get thrown in the tag match for the championships, either at the Rumble or at WrestleMania (the Elimination Chamber PPV is rumoured to be a SmackDown Live exclusive after all).
It’s getting predictable as Gallows distracts Cesaro, Shamus, of course leaves the announce table and trots his pale ass to ringside and naturally as Cesaro is about to perform a top rope superplex, Gallows is up on the apron and Shamus pulls him down, making the top rope wobble coursing Cesaro to lose the upper hand which Anderson takes advantage, pinning the Swiss superman, predictable anyone.
The last man standing match was up next, Strowman taking on Zayn, in what should have been a rather one sided event and let’s face it was, there wouldn’t be an odds maker alive that would paint Zayn as the odds on favourite, for good fucking reason.
Of course as the match came with no D/Q, no count out, Zayn went on the attack with a kendo stick before Strowman strength and dominance started to become a factor, the match would spread past the announcement table and into the backstage area and onto the entrance stage.
With steel chairs and even putting Strowman through two tables just couldn’t put the big man down but let it not be known that Sami Zayn doesn’t have a heart of a champion as the man just would not stay down. But with a final running power slam outside the ring would give the ref his count of ten and would give Strowman the win but you can bet your ass that Zayn will not be down for long.
Unfortunately, we got a segment of the New Day and Titus O’Neil, the latter wanting to join the former as a new member, failing to join the club it led to a match between Titus and Xavier Woods whilst the rest of the New Day lurked at ringside.
And with team mates lurking, you would think they would be getting involved but this is one match were we had a clean winner, no distractions, no interference, no cheap shots, it was a straight up match with only a few botched and awkward moments, a rather refreshing change.
In an added number one contender match by Stephanie McMahon, Bayley will take on Nia Jax to the right to face Charlotte for the Raw Women’s Championship at the Royal Rumble but first it would be Cedric Alexander facing off with Drew Gulak.
Now I have to admit I was a little stunned because I don’t follow the cruiserweight division at all and the most I will follow is if a title match is announced and only then I pick for my prediction, no more, no less, I’m a bit like that with NXT if I’m to be honest.
While this match was nothing to shout about, sure they showed you what the cruiserweights are famous for but of course, the ringside tag alongs gets into the usual squabble distracting Alexander allowing Gulak to win with a rollup and a handful of tights.
Amazingly, we had the United States Championship match up next, the champion Roman Reigns against Chris Jericho and that ever presence of the shark cage at the top of ramp, with Kevin Owens banned from ringside I was hoping for a straight up match between champion and challenger…but this is the WWE so I shouldn’t get my hopes up.
But as Reigns made his entrance a strange thought came to mind, the shark cage was open, meaning it could be used and with the stipulation of a D/Q or more importantly a count out against Reigns would end in giving us a new champion, is this how they are going to have Roman lose the belt.
A great moment in the whole show came next, paying homage to the late, great Eddie Guerrero, Jericho had the ref distracted, threw the championship belt to Reigns and then dropped to the mat pretending to be knocked out, despite trying to win by lying, cheating and stealing and getting Reigns disqualified, it didn’t work but a great moment none the less.
In the end, we didn’t need to worry about the shark cage as Jericho smashed his head on an exposed turnbuckle and ate a spear for the champion to retain his title never the less was still a good match.
Brian Kendrick took to the ring next battling T.J Perkins, despite the missed landings, the off sync throws or runs, the cruiserweights have always shown what they do best and that is fast paced action, it’s no wonder why they were given the 205 live.
But despite the fast pace, Perkins actually won by submission of all things not many of those in the record books if I recall but a great win none the less.
In watch should have been a tag team match ended up a handicap match Jinder Mahal & Rusev taking on Big Cass as Enzo was out with injury but with him at ringside Cass had to watch the man he was facing and the other one who would start attacking Enzo, leaving this match predictably with only one winner or in this case, two as the numbers prove greater than going at it alone as Rusev pinned Big Cass.
With Charlotte Flair joining commentary to watch and see who she would face at the Royal Rumble, I have to admit I was pulling for Bayley, she is without question a fan favourite and mine, I guessed with all the cheat shots against her I was expecting Bayley to win this.
Predictable anyone? As Jax was on the top rope she got a little distracted by the boss, Sasha Banks who Jax attacked a week earlier, giving Bayley the chance to hit the belly to Bayley suplex to meet Charlotte at the Rumble.
Goldberg made his return to Monday Night Raw on the first ever Kevin Owens show, despite Jericho dropping the bombshell that he was entering into the Royal Rumble come January 29th joining Goldberg and Brock Lesnar.
And speaking of Lesnar, fans and I thought we were going to get a real treat when his manager Paul Hayman came calling but it wasn’t to be, Roman Reigns turned up though along with Braun Strowman, who announced he too is entering the Royal Rumble.
Goldberg and Reigns were even nice enough to team up and joint spear Strowman but that was it, after about half a dozen words Hayman had slinked off somewhere so did Kevin Owens and Jericho and the main event of the first Raw of 2017 pretty much fell flat on its face.
Some good moments but in the end…Disappointing…